it wasn't lemon gatorade
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
