He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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