Kareoke will never be a sober sport
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Congratulations! We have a period
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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