judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
