Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
