I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
