dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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