I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
