Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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