I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
