I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
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