Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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