he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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