I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
