There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
