Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
