why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
