I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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