i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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