I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize
