He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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