You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize