We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
