I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Can I color on your dick again?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
