That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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