Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
