Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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