This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
