distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
We're too hungover to prance.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
