Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
