If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
