so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Randomize
