I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
