addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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