this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
