yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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