Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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