There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
