I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
