So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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