Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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