Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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