It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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