I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
