I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
