We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
