It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I want to have your abortion
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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