I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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