I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I need moral support for this bender
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
