Whod you bang
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
