How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
