allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
